And I’ve decided that yes I’ll be skipping Cyphacon this year. But I may also skip Bayoucon this year. And we won’t be putting up a Christmas tree, although if I can get a wreath I’d like that for the door. =^-^=
The past year’s events have kind of left me… not wanting to do these things anymore. A lot of what I’ve been doing was for my children’s sake: I’d pick up trinkets at the con for one, I’d drag the other along so she could have fun, we’d put their presents under the tree. It’s all kind of pointless now, really. My kids will never know how much my world centered around them, that even when working a lot of it was for them in some offhand fashion… from buying food to somehow getting a prom dress… to sending the boy a card or random item I thought he’d like. These days I’m just… fuck it. There’s literally no reason to bother any more. So I’m throwing out the hype, the glitter mess, the exhaustion and trading it in for peace and quiet.
I haven’t been able to put out a single new chapter for HB all year because of all that’s happened: that’s a big incentive for not doing any conventions. I have nothing new.
And I don’t want to do commissions so much anymore. I’m burned out. I want to do my *own* stuff. I wake up every day wishing I’d win the lottery or… something… so I could, indeed, do my own stuff.
But maybe we’ll go just to hang out. I haven’t gotten to do that since… oh… ever. =^-^=