Sometimes my Clients Love my Productivity and Sometimes They Don’t.

The Heavenly Bride took another knock back today as the ad system that’s been on it for years, Project Wonderful, delisted one of the ad boxes. They do that automatically when a website hasn’t had enough activity – which I think is effing stupid personally. They shouldn’t care if a website has a lot of activity or not. Seems to me there was this other ad system that had that requirement and, uh, they don’t exist anymore.

So what are ya gonna do except carry on, really. I had already been carrying on before this happened. So I’ll try to figure something out for that spot. M’kay.

So here’s what I’ve been up to lately and why my clients are a little peeved at me.

1. The brandnew computer I almost held a fundraiser for but didn’t have to? It died mysteriously. I set it to render something you guys would love, took a walk, and came back to a dead computer. It happened that unexpectedly. We know the power supply is dead. We don’t know what else because we can’t afford a new power supply. We have no idea why it happened. So I’m still using the old Charlie body (my gremlin of course stays with me no matter what I use), and it likes to give me blue screens of death from time to time. My work has been slowed down (again) as a result and I’m a little frustrated.

2. Despite that I’ve been doing my thing with The Heavenly Bride and fun things like that. If you’re a paid member of Bride you’ll notice that the last page was animated. Shock! Gasp! But did you also know that Akashik was always meant for animation? It was even to the point that a certain studio had contacted me to see if they could be the ones to produce it. You might remember that. So here I am working on it as I can. Even if a certain 3D generated show seems to have borrowed Taus – and Ganji besides – so now I’m wondering why bother because even though I was here first people aren’t going to see it that way. (grumble)

3. I really miss Akashik. A lot. And I have all these little side stories and things that go with it. One of them, which I have named The Brat, is currently¬† under serious production because.. .I got inspired. And when inspiration strikes a real artist, you’ll not get a single thing out of them otherwise. Doesn’t matter the art medium. It’s just how our brains are wired.

So The Brat is going to be a visual novel. I’ve played a few of them, and I like the gaming medium. So it seemed natural to go for it. It’ll be easy, right? It looked like a means to get something attached to Akashik out there quickly but in a fun way.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

It has become a larger thing than I had planned when it was only going to be a comic. I’ve went from la ti da I have some pages planned to OMG I HAVE TO ANIMATE THIS PART!

My inspiration spells are really demons of possession that feed from client ire.

Let me explain.

I wake up in the morning. I say to myself, “Okay, Spearcarrier. Today you’re not going to spend all day sucked into DAZ 3D preparing models for the Brat. You’re going to be a good little freelance slave and get that nice man’s cover done.”¬† After I’ve had a few sips of my morning tea I’m thinking, “Well, okay. Maybe you can give yourself an hour. But then you really have to get those flats done! People are counting on you!” And then several hours later I’m telling myself, “Well… you’ve lost the day but you can still get on track. Fifteen more minutes working on the models and then you have to go!”¬† Finally at 2 in the morning I’m going to bed without having done anything at all.

This is where the demon gets stronger. I start getting emails from clients that read things along the lines of, “Where the fuck are you, you lazy ass bum! I wouldn’t leave you alone on your honeymoon, and I’m certainly not going to leave you alone now! RAR!”

All that ire flung at innocent little me through the internet is soaked up by the demon. The demon in turns feeds me feelings of recalcitrance. Suddenly I’m reluctant to work for other people because, well, they’re mean. And I stay working on my own stuff. It’s not my fault, really. I’m powerless in the demon’s grasp!

Today is going to be different, though. I already have my work loaded up. If I can just find some holy artistic garlic to keep the demon at bay I’ll be fine. *breathes*

I would hold a fundraiser to help fund the visual novel, but we all know my fundraisers are usually flops. But I’m going to need things like voice actors and music. I already have contacted someone to help me program it. Pestilence will be using this as a tool to learn a little programming, but for now neither of us are up to doing some of the things that I have in my head to happen. So it goes.

And I think my hand is tired, so … back to work. Makes a lot of sense, huh.

The Flattering

I was tickled yesterday when a long-time reader asked me straight up if I was willing to do stick figures, because I use them for comics on occasion as filler art. To be specific, they wanted to know if I could bring Akashik back using stick figures. Please, pretty please.

Yes, I do intend to get back to Akashik before I die of old age – providing Nibiru doesn’t make it completely to the planet and kill us all. I am often frustrated that I can’t start on it now. Well, in a way I am working on it. I develop characters, I poke at the script, and I’m writing side stories here and there because they simply will not leave me alone.

The latest side story that blossomed out from my pen into comic book script form was about Taus’s first teacher and sponsor into Cerberus. To be precise, it’s how they met. But I can’t start on it right now… there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Not with me having to work on commissions for everyone else, too.

Still, the day is coming. The husband and I have been working hard for the time I can say, “I quit!” to the working world at large and strike out on my own. I’m impatient because I’d set these days off for my children, for stability, for this and for that. All I have to show for it are empty bedrooms and an entire life that was set aside.

A client recently told me that I should put my life even further on hold while my husband goes to college. I should support him and be there for him as much as a wife can.

I told him politely that my husband was a grown man.

Sometimes I get real sick and tired of the double standard, the societal expectation that as a female I shouldn’t try to be successful and do things in my own right. When I did them I was put down and called names. And today, now that I’m nearing middle-age, I’m not even appreciated for my sacrifice. And someone expects me to set my life back even further?

I think not.

But this wasn’t meant to be a rant about inequality. This was supposed to be a simple comment about fans, and how much I love them, and how much it means to me when one reaches out to beg me for stick figures at the very least.

Please, pretty please.